Beat Believer Gifts

A woman dances to music on the radio.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

'Get an afterlife!'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

'That's all for tonight, God. Stay tuned.'

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

Ray Charles

"Mummy's a bit grisly in the mornings. But after something to eat and a little nap, she's quite pleasant."

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

Tell Santa What You Want. ... And tell your goof-off elves that last year they forgot the batteries!

"Keep your chin up."

"I started this company in my parents basement. I kept a backup copy in case I ever need to start another."

? ? Please help fund my boy band.

Support Our Apologists.

"Yes, I would love you more if you didn't make mobiles out of old cutlery and beads."

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

Pinocchio auditions for a boyband.

"I'm not 'coercing' anyone. I'm just explaining what you must do to avoid going to hell."

It's a new high-fiber cereal for adults. There's a surprise pre-approved credit card in every box!

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

"Ignore the side effect scares - I've had both jabs in each arm - I'm getting my booster in this one!"

'It's alright to do your regular work, Sanders, but haven't you caught on yet? The big money is in breakthrough.'

'Where have you been all your life? Everybody knows that zero coupon bonds are the way to go!'