Blend Believer Gifts

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"Take. Your. Time!"

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

Ray Charles

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'

'What's a good diet for athletes?'

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

'You seem to be in good spirits.'

"Lucky beast....No factory farming, no suffering at the slaughterhouse...perfect."

'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'

"Keep your chin up."

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

"Give Me 6 Sets At 30 Seconds Each!"

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

"If I ever use the term 'bromance' to describe our friendship, you have permission to punch me."

'Will Tuesday afternoon be satisfactory?'

Highwire Texting

"It IS awful, but it woke you up, didn't it?"

The Fountain of Espresso

'I see a tender, dark bruise coming your way...' (Balm readers)

A Tailor and a new customer

'No other gods before him? - What about multiculturalism?'

"You mean to say, you don't even have broadband?"

'Where have you been all your life? Everybody knows that zero coupon bonds are the way to go!'

Wait Here. Employment Office. My belief that if you can't say something nice about a person you shouldn't say anything at all spelled doom for my career as a radio talk show host.

'Whoa...on second thought, just give me the large.'