Broadcast Believer Gifts

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Local News in Heaven

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

'Confusionism'

"Oh, wait. He's on their side."

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

"It's for global cooling."

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

"One, one deduction! Two, two deductions! Three, three deductions! Four deductions ah ah ah!!!!!!"

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

"I believe in you!"

'You didn't hear me say my prayers because I texted them.'

"I guess we'll all just have to vote a little bit harder next time."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

"I'm chasing success the old fashioned way. By hoping for a miracle."

'Yeah, we don't need marionette strings anymore. Everything is done with bluetooth!'

Five year time...

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

'And these are my five little trilobites - all boys, all petrol-heads. One day their dreams will come true.'

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."