Broadband Believer Gifts

"You mean to say, you don't even have broadband?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

I've always been slower than computers...

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"We give thanks for superfast broadband, 4G connectivity ..."

Stress

Life Remaining Progress Bar

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

The Procrastinatorium.

'I've never eaten here. I come for the broadband.'

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

"I need a slower internet connection."

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"It's for global cooling."

Ray Charles

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

"I'm about as mainstream as you can get. I go to church, I'm all for the family, I hate Saddam Hussein, and I'm unemployed."

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

'Yeah, we don't need marionette strings anymore. Everything is done with bluetooth!'

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

"If I ever use the term 'bromance' to describe our friendship, you have permission to punch me."

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."

'And he said, Come unto me, for it's not what you know, but who you know.'

'It's alright to do your regular work, Sanders, but haven't you caught on yet? The big money is in breakthrough.'

'No matter what I try, it seems that I just keep coming back to the same place in my life.'

'Anything besides the three lotto tickets?'

Wait Here. Employment Office. My belief that if you can't say something nice about a person you shouldn't say anything at all spelled doom for my career as a radio talk show host.