Stretching Believer Gifts

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Oh, puhleeese. No one's going to steal your idea."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Gymnast tangled up.

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

Give Thanks.

'I am reluctant to offer plastic surgery at this time, Miss Caterpillar: Why don't you let Nature take its course?'

Yoga

'How's your pilates class doing?'

'No, we wouldn't want to ask God's blessing on something evil, but carrots aren't evil.'

Jesus the comedian.

"Yoga CAN be of great benefit. . . but only if you learn how to do it PROPERLY!"

Yoga Class: Position Vacant

The Arc of History tries bending toward justice after skipping yoga class for a few years.

"Relax - we're blessings in disguise."

"Yes, Jimmy, this is how you'll look if you keep working out with your rubber strap!"

Easter egg yoga

"The best decisions are made when complexity and simplicity meet."

'The new physio's red hot on pre-match stretching.'

"Please tell me you recently lowered the floor."

'Of course it's competitive. I'm competing with myself.'

"She's a natural,apparently she still believes in faries and Santa Claus!"

St. Gregory Church - We will not be undersaved.

"You're definitely descended from the apes. I'm descended from Adam and Eve."

Warming up

Take it easy on the stretching exercises!

"Tomorrow’s the day. I’ve been waiting in line for 'Deadpool & Wolverine' for months." "What on earth are you talking about, little buddy?" "Well, it’s not exactly me. It’s a kid I paid, he’s holding my spot." "Wait… Please tell me you didn’t pay a kid to not go home for two months." "It doesn’t sound so good the way you say it."