Benefit Match Enthusiast Gifts

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Lovers

The commentators want to run the officials...

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

Football supporters.

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'We're in a hurry.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'I'm appalled, the bank's limited my bonus to 'grossly sickening' when I've earned 'outrageous'.'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

Soccer Fans.

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package †major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'Retire now and we'll throw in this set of steak knives! But wait, that's not all...'

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

Footballer.

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

He must have given Johnson a rise - he just did a back-flip.

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

"Fixed-term contracts, social benefits, pension plans, health insurance. . . we have nothing to complain about. And that's why we're on strike!"

Employee Benefits

Will work for humongous bonus.

'Let me get this straight: The job comes with a full health care package? Including a dental plan? Impressive! What kind of salary are we talking?'