Benefit Match Enthusiast Pillows

'Remember, it's YOUR benefit game - go out and foul whoever you like!'

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Lovers

The commentators want to run the officials...

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Football supporters.

'We're in a hurry.'

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

'I'm appalled, the bank's limited my bonus to 'grossly sickening' when I've earned 'outrageous'.'

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'Let's buy the one that has the game on it.'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package †major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

Soccer Fans.

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

'Retire now and we'll throw in this set of steak knives! But wait, that's not all...'

Footballer.

"I promised I'd bring him - he could never afford to come when he was alive."

"Fixed-term contracts, social benefits, pension plans, health insurance. . . we have nothing to complain about. And that's why we're on strike!"

He must have given Johnson a rise - he just did a back-flip.

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

Will work for humongous bonus.

Employee Benefits