Benefit Enthusiast Pillows

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

Help wanted. Excellent medical insurance. Salary also available.

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

Employee Benefits

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Pre-Old Blues

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'Miss Henshaw - bring me my trumpet.'

Todays Sermon: 'Can our entitlements be saved?'

"R&D really created a miracle drug this time...at least it's been miraculous for our bottom line!"

And this is my dance of the third quarters profit ratio.

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

'I do my best work when I'm being paid a huge salary.'

"I think he's been capitalised!"

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

Delighted worker being propelled through the air on the back of the scale coming right off the chart

Making Money.

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

What do you MEAN money isn't everything? We are a bank!

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package †major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'My union prevented taking away our dental plan to pay for executive bonuses!'

"Sure, revenues are up 25% since we switched from blackmailing the West, to crowdfunding, but where's the pizazz?"

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

"So this 'customer care' idea seems to be working."

"Beneath this calm exterior, I'm obsessed with making profits."

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

'We've ended up paying our 'golden hellos', golden 'return from holidays' and Prickman wanted a golden 'thank you' after coming back from a toilet break!'

'Getting a big bonus to risk other people's money makes me wonder if I am part of a conspiracy.'

You wanted to see me again, boss? Yes. I realized you never gave me my Christmas bonus. What're you talking about? You're the boss. You give me a bonus, I don't give you a bonus. Exactly. The key word in employer-employee relationship is relationship. One-sided relationships never work, Rudy. I've calculated the amount you would have paid me if you hadn't been taking me for granted for 16 years. Very bad man.