Match Enthusiast Gifts

'It's hard for him to do much work around the house. He only has half-times available.'

Footballers chasing a ball.

"Bad case of Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

If nobody had invented graphics

Punt Cake

Football Chameleon

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

A day at the transgenic races

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Bears

"How should we divide the teams?"

Ratminton

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Saving a Heart

Gary turns 40.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"