Match Enthusiast Prints

'It's hard for him to do much work around the house. He only has half-times available.'

Footballers chasing a ball.

'Well, that's Match of the Day over, now you can tell me the score.'

"Bad case of Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

Punt Cake

Monica Seles

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"How should we divide the teams?"

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Gary turns 40.

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Ratminton

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

A day at the transgenic races

Saving a Heart

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'