Behaviorism Gifts

Freudian vs Behavior therapist.

How Mrs Pavlov Would Call her Son to the Dinner Table

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

"I hate it when we fight."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Dog Park / Cat Park

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

Failures.

"Oh, he claims I bit his head off, did he? And I suppose you BELIEVED him?"

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

Pavlov's dog

One giant bark for dogkind.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922

Pavlov's Dream

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

"So you feel like you are constantly being followed?"

Monkey casino study.

"People are crazy."

Pavlov Throws Out The Anomaly

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

Lab rat dreams.

'And what a horrible little package.'