Behaviors Gifts

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Santa Claus's Mail

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"I hate it when we fight."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Dog Park / Cat Park

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

The Map of the Human Heart

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

The life of penguins.

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"He ran out of pee."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

"I plan on keeping this off my resume!"

"My System 1 tells me she's articulate, capable, shrewd. My System 2 says BIMBO."

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"You have got to want to change."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

"So. Mr Smith, what makes you think you are too controlling?"

One giant bark for dogkind.

Second-hand Slander and Innuendo £10

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

Pavlov's dog

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten