Behavioral Gifts

'Welcome to the OCD helpline. Please press '9' to continue. . . Press it again.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Santa Claus's Mail

'If he grabs the broccoli, we turn on the Raffi tunes. If he heads towards the Playstation, he hit him with the air horn at 100db.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

Dog Park / Cat Park

"I hate it when we fight."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

"This says dogs can exhibit feelings of jealousy."

The life of penguins.

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"Sometimes I bark at nothing."

"Is this where the breakout session on adolescent behavior meets?"

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

"Now, let your inner ‘bad dog’ answer the question ..."

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

Failures.

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."

'What is it with dogs and the thrill of getting caught?'

Pavlov's dog

"So we're agreed—free will exists, unless there are treats."

One giant bark for dogkind.

"Oh, he claims I bit his head off, did he? And I suppose you BELIEVED him?"

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

Tyler missed the old days before his parents used behavioral tracking software.

Pavlov's Dream

We bonded over a shared lack of assertiveness. Vive la diffidence!

Pavlov Throws Out The Anomaly

"I don't want them to smell fear, so I'm going to roll in something before the interview."

"People are crazy."

"We got this. I was born in a corn maze." CS629922