Bed Tester Gifts

'I said YOU TWO- we don't give trial runs!'

Rust test in progress.

Product Testing Department

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'They're not like popsickles, Sir. . . they're just too warm and syrupy.'

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

"To quote my broker, 'Past results are no guarantee of future performance.'"

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

"If Harold had learned anything over 50 years of marriage, it was the importance of keeping things interesting in the bedroom."

'Pegasus used steroids. Pass it on.'

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

'That's great, but it was supposed to be a laxative.'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

"The Firminator. One inch of foam over cement blocks."

"They do say results will vary."

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

At the National Whoopee Cushion Testing Facility.

'So how was work, Honey?'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

'Reading that stuff gives me 'goose bumps'.'

Humpty Dumpty Gets in a Taxi.

At the Flip-Flop Quality Control Center.

'Mine!'

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

"How did the acupuncture session go, Sebastian?"

The maze is easy, but the reward at the end gets charged to your credit card.

"You're the perfect man for our production test lab, sir!"

Consumer Safety Testing Lab. Bake-it Toy Oven. We have lots of work to do --- Now get the lead out!

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

"I see your son has a summer job."