Bed Enthusiasts Gifts

"When was this bed last serviced?"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Man's best friends."

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"What's with your hair?"

"You were snoring."

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'We'll take it!'

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."