Waterbed Tester Gifts

"First they kicked me out of the petting zoo, then I lost my job testing water beds."

"I'm afraid our drinking water isn't pure."

Rust test in progress.

Product Testing Department

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

'We won't know how many diapers it takes to soak up a bathtub full of water until we get more diapers.'

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

'We were just testing our faith.'

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

"They do say results will vary."

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

'Reading that stuff gives me 'goose bumps'.'

Circus News

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

'So how was work, Honey?'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"If you didn't like your job, you should go into ventriloquism like your brother."

"Any accidents within the last twelve months?"

"How did the acupuncture session go, Sebastian?"

"You're the perfect man for our production test lab, sir!"

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

"I see your son has a summer job."

"He's offered to show me the breast stroke - tonight in his water bed!"

A woman runs a crash test dummy in a shopping cart.

'It's rock hard this water-bed of yours.'