Chair Tester Gifts

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

"As you can see, we have a very flexible work-from-home-at-the-office policy."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"Are you happy with your current ball?"

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?'

Rust test in progress.

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"If all you have is a whatchamacallit then every problem looks like a thingamajig."

'What, They're comfortable.'

Product Testing Department

Skier.

"Careful... if you look too comfortable they take your chair away."

Reserved Parking

Introverted Chair

"While you were on vacation, Zooker, a motion was made and seconded to saw five and a half inches off your chair legs."

'Ned thinks the inventor of the vibrating easychair should get the Nobel prize for science.'

Stan couldn't be bothered to stand up – yet hated being talked down to.

Shaker furniture: The flamboyant years.

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

"I was a mattress tester, but was fired for oversleeping and being late for work."

'Well you were warned about the dangers of sedentary lifestyle.'

Crash Test Dummy Funerals.

'They're not like popsickles, Sir. . . they're just too warm and syrupy.'

Sitting down

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

'It's come to my attention that you haven't been sleeping on the job.'

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

Test dummies in car, "Oh my god dave, look out for that wall!"

'It doesn't work...'

Not complaining, but when do you think your cats will be done sleeping on the furniture?

'Without government help we can forget about the extra large directors' chairs.'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

At the National Whoopee Cushion Testing Facility.

'So how was work, Honey?'