Cosmetic Tester Gifts

'..A new method of extracting money from purses.'

Bad fake tan day.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Rust test in progress.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

A small man under a giant microscope.

Product Testing Department

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

"Damn these super powers!"

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.