Cosmetic Researcher Gifts

A small man under a giant microscope.

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Bad fake tan day.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

What price beauty?

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Hair spray"

Woman applying makeup

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

Blend Schools

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"Your mascara is running."

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'