Cosmetic Researcher Pillows

A small man under a giant microscope.

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

Bad fake tan day.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

What price beauty?

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

Woman applying makeup

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"Hair spray"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Botox."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

Blend Schools

"Do you have anything that can help remove dark circles from under my eyes?"

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

'Is my make-up O.K.?'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'