Skin Scientist Pillows

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

PROBLEM AREAS

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

Pop Culture for Teens

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

'You need to do something about your dry skin.'

S.P.F. 1,000

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'Apply that ointment as directed and call me if the growth does not reduce or it starts to talk.'

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Desert Dermatologist

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

'You do Botox?'

Sunburn lotion, Windburn lotion.

'Here's my fail proof way to restore a youthful appearance - a 30 watt bulb.'

'I Love the touch of your dry flakey skin!'

'You've got dry scalp.'

'As pizza maker, maybe a skin care products site isn't the best idea for an affiliate site.'

"Have you been scratching this?"

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'Botox...'

"What you have is what we call Cactunitus. It's when your skin is so dry you start to morph into a cactus."

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."