Cosmetic Science Nerd Pillows

'Er...the botox injections of Dorian Gray?'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Ascent of Machine.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Vaccine

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"Hair spray"

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

Free Radicals.

Charles Darwin

"Nasty sunburn."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

"My first Father's day!"

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

A small man under a giant microscope.