Cosmetics Researcher Gifts

Animal cosmetic testing

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"We're stopping animal testing. It's the humane thing to do, plus none of them could even crack 1000 on the SATs."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

"I don't like your application."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Hair spray"

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"More concealer?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

A small man under a giant microscope.

'Now that you've all had a chance to try the shampoo we would like you to fill in this questionnaire.'

Might be time to lighten up on those collagen implants, hon.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'