Cosmetics Researcher Gifts

Animal cosmetic testing

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

"We're stopping animal testing. It's the humane thing to do, plus none of them could even crack 1000 on the SATs."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

"Too much concealer?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

For heavens sake,put some make-up on!

'Have you no common scents?!'

'I ask her to make up her mind. So she powders her forehead.'

'You're much better than my mom. You can hardly tell when she paints her face.'

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

"I don't like your application."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"That product you are using is fantastic. Your eye bags are gone."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Hair spray"

Your presentation will be terrific. I was up all night, but something's still missing. Here. I've got just what you need. How thoughtful! Eye concealer! No need to thank me.

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

"More concealer?"

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

A small man under a giant microscope.