Beauty Products Collector Pillows

"Call it vanity, call it narcissism, call it egomania. I love you."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Shampoo.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

Some scents are nonsense.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Woman applying makeup

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"More concealer?"

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"We're running a little late. The Mrs. is still putting on her face."

'Mildred....is that you?'

Joan Collins

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

"That shampoo was delicious!"

"You have a very rare conditioner."

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

Just stop (macassar) oil

Which one of these things is the soap?

Mooseturizer

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.