Beauty Products Collector T-Shirts

"Call it vanity, call it narcissism, call it egomania. I love you."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Shampoo.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

'I'm going to have to cut it - Daddy is complaining about the shampoo bill again.'

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

Some scents are nonsense.

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Woman applying makeup

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"More concealer?"

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

'Mildred....is that you?'

"I just got a Trump alert with my discount code off my next purchase of Trump baseball caps."

"That shampoo was delicious!"

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

"You have a very rare conditioner."

Just stop (macassar) oil

'I'm walking across the nation to raise awareness of my fabulous legs.'

Which one of these things is the soap?

"He'll definitely notice this one madam, especially if you leave the receipt where he can find it."

Mooseturizer

"We offer video games, snacks, t-shirts, coffee mugs, beer and wine. Oh, and we also we have a movie."

"Sorry, Bernie. We found out about your rejuvenating jelly."