Beauty Product Collectors Pillows

'I got myself a new razor, according to the package it's supposed to bring out the goddess in you.' 'Which one, love or war?'

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Shampoo.

Lesser known greek gods,

You're telling me not to choose sides between Google and Apple. Precisely. Computer Villa. Stay neutral. Continue to support both companies. Emotionally. Right. By buying as much as you can from both companies. Doesn't that only benefit you? Heretic. Absolve yourself by upgrading your phone! Computer Villa.

"Whoa. Jeff. Looks like you got that job at the cosmetic testing lab."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

"I feel bad for the companies that make lipstick."

'Maybe I should get a shopping cart.'

Woman applying makeup

"Yikes! So many foundations, so little time."

"More concealer?"

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

"Sure, but Mrs. Noah did make some design changes while you were out collecting beasties."

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

'Mildred....is that you?'

"We're running a little late. The Mrs. is still putting on her face."

'Well if you can't make me look like Cameron Diaz, just re-apply my lipstick and touch-up my mascara thanks.'

Joan Collins

Just stop (macassar) oil

Medusa, 6 P.M. Friday.

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup

"You have a very rare conditioner."

Which one of these things is the soap?

Mooseturizer

'Honey, I need some money for a facial: I need to look my best with all these photo safaris around...'

"Call it vanity, call it narcissism, call it egomania. I love you."

"You mean to say you haven't even put your face on yet?"

Avon lady (selling foundation cream) tapping a builder on the shoulder.

"Sorry, Bernie. We found out about your rejuvenating jelly."

Cosmetics keep men from reading between the lines.