Bear Market Survivor Gifts

'Frankly, I don't see any chance of your hitting it big in the stock market.'

Sub-prime Bear

"Wait! Don't jump - things will get better."

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

Half a loaf is better than none..

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

Bear Market

"Time for your upper, sir."

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Time to buy.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'Our fund lost millions, but the good news is our management fees are not based on performance.'

With the mine closing down due to Emission concerns...somone had to shake their booty to keep food on the table.

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

"Dow-Jones Index...Dow-Jones Index..."

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

'Don't give me all that bull about a strong market - I said sell!'

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

Economic casualties.

Stock market recession strategy.

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

"Let's first talk about how you could have done worse."

Sign reading "Bought High; Sold Low."

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'If the market should go down really deep, I'll be well prepared!'

'You don't want to go to hell, J.B. In hell, the market is always down.'