Bear Market Battler Gifts

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

'Today, growth funds fell short, large caps got smaller, money funds lost money, value funds dropped value, contrarian funds followed the back...in short, a bad day on wall street.'

'Time to buy.'

Sub-prime Bear

What happens when the bears are running the market.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Stock market books.

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

'Don't give me all that bull about a strong market - I said sell!'

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

Stock market recession strategy.

Markets Drama

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

'Tech stocks rose on news 'old economy' stocks were down...reversing the rise in 'old economy' stocks when techs were down.'

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

How to bare up in a bare market.

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

Bull and bear in boxing ring.

"You're new around here."

'The current business climate is keeping the bears in hibernation.'

Death of a broker.

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

"I'm sorry-this is literally my first rodeo."