Bear Market Tactician Gifts

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

The president's men

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Sub-prime Bear

'Time to buy.'

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

"That was a rumor day."

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

Stock market books.

'Don't give me all that bull about a strong market - I said sell!'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

Markets Drama

Stock market recession strategy.

'Remember, shares can also go down...'

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

How to bare up in a bare market.

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

'I don't know about you, Sam, but so far my clients aren't going for this cross between tradtional and online trading.'

"Buy on the dip, ignore the blip, and sell before the bubble bursts."

The invisible hand of the marketplace.

Death of a broker.

'The current business climate is keeping the bears in hibernation.'

"You're new around here."

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

Man cheering at stock market collapse - "He owns an anti-stress patent!"