Bear Market Optimist Gifts

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

Sub-prime Bear

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Time to buy.'

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'We're quite confident this lull won't last long.'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

To Stock Exchange

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'Don't give me all that bull about a strong market - I said sell!'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

"All of the economic indicators I've seen are pointing up."

Doom & Gloom

Stock market recession strategy.

Markets Drama

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

'And to what do you attribute your bullishness?'

'Your stock portfolio didn't lose one third of its value, Mr. Reynolds, it retained two thirds.'

"You're new around here."

"Put me back on hold! That song - 'We're in the money' - put me in a really good mood!"

Death of a broker.

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

Investments Cock-Eyed Optimists.

Man cheering at stock market collapse - "He owns an anti-stress patent!"