Bear Market Philosopher Gifts

Thank you for not Wishing Me a Nice Day When the Market is Down

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

'Time to buy.'

What happens when the bears are running the market.

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Money god

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

Economic Downturns

"Money is life's report card."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

Accountant Manqué

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

"I make money, therefore I am."