Bear Market Philosopher Pillows

Thank you for not Wishing Me a Nice Day When the Market is Down

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

'I don't know if money grows on trees, son. I know it doesn't grow in fields.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

Flat tax - equal burden?

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'Time to buy.'

Money god

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"Money is life's report card."

Economic Downturns

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'I got a big refund on my income tax.'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

"Stocks edged lower on the news there's more to life than the accumulation of material things..."

Accountant Manqué

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

'We do spend a lot and tax a lot, but it's the price you pay for living in a money-based economy.'

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

'Just this once, but I want a piece of the action.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?'

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

'If you want to be a great success, get yourself huge wads of money.'