Bear Market Buff Gifts

Man cheering at stock market collapse - "He owns an anti-stress patent!"

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

Death of a broker.

The day the stock market went UP.

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Sub-prime Bear

'Time to buy.'

What happens when the bears are running the market.

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

Stock market books.

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

'Don't let our profits go south. You know what I'm like when we get in the RED!'

'Don't give me all that bull about a strong market - I said sell!'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

"Shoot, I forgot this place has early checkout."

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

"That's the shoestring I started with. It was tied around 100 million dollars worth of stocks and bonds."

Stock market recession strategy.

Markets Drama

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

Park. Don't fear the animals, try to analyze their motives. Don't be "afraid," be "a Freud"!

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

"If you hibernated you wouldn't have to worry about losing an hour's sleep to daylight savings."

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

How to bare up in a bare market.

'With the longest run on Wall Street in modern times, our next speaker needs no introduction.'