Bear Market Battler Pillows

Thanks to his stocks, Bob now lives in the middle of a great green garden outside the crowded city.

'Today, growth funds fell short, large caps got smaller, money funds lost money, value funds dropped value, contrarian funds followed the back...in short, a bad day on wall street.'

'Time to buy.'

Sub-prime Bear

What happens when the bears are running the market.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'Hi, I'm the ghost of your past, present and future stock portfolio!'

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

'It's like a bull market, only not as aggressive. It's more like a steer market.'

Stock market books.

'Don't blame me, turkey - I've never been near Wall Street.'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'My advice is: Hold on to your stock so you can look back at this and laugh.'

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'Don't give me all that bull about a strong market - I said sell!'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

Stock market recession strategy.

Markets Drama

"The market was doing so well I decided not to hibernate this year."

New York Stock Exchange: Feed the bears at your own risk.

"This is Thurgood. He specializes in beaten-down stocks."

'Tech stocks rose on news 'old economy' stocks were down...reversing the rise in 'old economy' stocks when techs were down.'

'At last a sign the bear market may be over.'

'Of course I'll charge you 8,- for an empty glass of scotch. Never heard of bear sales, sir?'

How to bare up in a bare market.

"I'm sorry but here we have a strict policy about hiring anyone who's squirmish about investing"

'Probably just another correctional movement...'

Make Your Portfolio BEARable.

Bull and bear in boxing ring.

'The current business climate is keeping the bears in hibernation.'

"You're new around here."

Death of a broker.

"The free investment advice is buy low and sell high. We offer more detailed advice for a fee."

"I'm sorry-this is literally my first rodeo."