Beach Day Joker Gifts

Lost a sandal?

Beach con-man.

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

Fishing line going in to water and then dropping down from sky at top of panel.

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Beer Parasol.

Brighton Bersagliere.

A Snowman falls down drunk outside a bar.

Summer reading for the family.

"I said, 'I'm not on duty! I just came back to get my flip-flops.'"

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

Lady to angler whose line is snagged: 'You would manage to get your line caught in the one tree in this entire massive lake.'

Eating ice cream.

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Snowman Driver

The waterslides are fun, but the water seesaw, not so much.

A Crab Tubing in a Tidepool

'Who says I'm beached?'

"You idiots … we lost!"

"This is it? No video?"

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

'Oooh, nice timepiece.'

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

'Shall we dig him up, we haven't had an ice cream in over an hour?'

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

"Uh ho. It looks like the Ref's giving him the yellow vuvuzela."

'Donald! You're wearing your thong back to front!'

One good thing about an oil spill is that it gives you an instant tan without worrying about the harmful effects of exposure to the sun.

"Ey, Salvador, why you no make sandcastles like other kids?"

No petting in the pool!

Beach Burger - without sand 75 cents extra.