Bathroom Battle Master Gifts

'Have you been missing the toilet bowl again?'

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

SWAT Team (going in to catch a fly).

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Kid's at Bath Time.

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

Other men just sing in the bath

'...I got my hands dirty washing my face!'

"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"

"Morning Gorgeous!"

"Travel the dark corridor over shoe mountain. Avoid the couch ogre lest he steal your soul. The third door is the bathroom you seek."

'I don't know how I got rid of mildew before Henry got me the flamethrower.'

'So we meet again on the fields of battle.'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

Woman sees towels with 'Mine' on all of them

I realized I do my best thinking in the shower.

'Do you really want me to get in there and pollute all that nice clean water?'

"I'm having an en-suite put in."

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

'Mom, you did say it is a bath robe.'

'The snake and plunger didn't work, so I'm going in...'

'All clear!'

Windscreen wiper on mirror to clean mess from youth squeezing spots

"I'm having a problem with the Ultra-Super Max Plumber's Helper you sold me yesterday."

Dance of the Inconsistent Water Temperature