Bathroom Battle Warrior Gifts

Greasy film crew.

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

'So how do you manage such a close shave?' 'Simple,i wait till the very last second.'

The Tragedy of Prosperity

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

'Why can't you be like other men and just sing in the bath?'

"That shampoo was delicious!"

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

Medusa's bathtub

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"

'So we meet again on the fields of battle.'

"Travel the dark corridor over shoe mountain. Avoid the couch ogre lest he steal your soul. The third door is the bathroom you seek."

'I don't know how I got rid of mildew before Henry got me the flamethrower.'

Sign Above Toilet Reads 'In Memory of 'Spike'...'

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'Have you considered a second bathroom?'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

'Do you really want me to get in there and pollute all that nice clean water?'

"Wash and Quo"

'It's perfect! An indoor bathroom! How did you know?'

Do you know why the kitchen ceiling is dripping?

Mummies solution.

'YOU HAVE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY!'

'The doofus has gone and hanged himself again. . .'

US Airforce.

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'