Bath Time Strategist Gifts

Climbing into the bathtub

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

"The water was too hot."

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Lady of the bath...

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Do you want to win the game or my business?

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

A mum trying to dry an excited child

Water power.

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

Admiral in the bath.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Not now!"

"Can you do me next? Then I wouldn't have to take a bath."

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"OMG!"

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

'Sorry!...Recalculating.'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

'I'm going to soak for three days, then Andre here is going to sculpt me into an entirely new body shape with the pumice stone.'

"We slipped in the tub."

'Yes, I did give you permission to play with a boat in the bath tub. However, I was thinking of a toy boat.'

'Good morning. I'd like to talk about double glazing issues.'

Bath tube with human feet.

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."