Bath Time Captain Gifts

Admiral in the bath.

'Martha, my battleship sank.'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

Lady of the bath...

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Woman simutaneously playing the cello and washing man in bath's back

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

"Instead of taking a bath couldn't I just run through a carwash?"

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

A mum trying to dry an excited child

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

"Can you do me next? Then I wouldn't have to take a bath."

"Twenty minutes without a single bite. I think I've been tricked into a bath"

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

"Not now!"

"Just when they thought it was safe to go back in the water, the great fish emerged from below."

'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

Man with piano in bath - "It's not the singing I'm complaining about."

"We slipped in the tub."

'Yes, I did give you permission to play with a boat in the bath tub. However, I was thinking of a toy boat.'

"I. . . hate . . . bath day."

Bath tube with human feet.

'Good morning. I'd like to talk about double glazing issues.'

Centurion in a Shower

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

"We're never going to be able to give Moses a bath, are we?"

'I thought if I tried diving, I wouldn't mind a bath so much!'

"Can I draw you a bath sir?"

The wrong bath.

That's a silly question. What does it LOOK like I'm doing?'

Clawfoot Tub

'Do you really want me to get in there and pollute all that nice clean water?'

'It didn't start out this way.'