Bath Toy Strategist Gifts

'Martha, my battleship sank.'

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'She'll never look for me here.'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Arhimedes had principles: 'I'm not getting in that bath till it's 23 degrees.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

'Okay who swiped my bath toys?'

Things were going extremely well until last night's chilli reared its ugly head.

'We're finally in - but how will we get out?'

No you can't get out yet. You've only been in there for three hours

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'What's our stockbroker doing in the shower? Quick! Run and get me a rolled up copy of the Wall Street Journal!'

I've got a new theory, Randy, and it's going to shock the world. Why? Because it's pretty much irrefutable. You know how when you're in the bathroom, it feels like five minutes have passed … but to those waiting to use it, it feels like forever? Yes … And you know how when you're at the event horizon of a black hole, five minutes to you actually is forever to the rest of the universe? ... I think we'd better alert Neil Degrasse Tyson. I call it the Time Toilation Theory.

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Man in Bath

BUSINESS PRESCHOOL

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

'It's the 'SPA KING 2000': Someone who spends as much time in the water as you do would love it...'

"Mind if I take a bath first, pet."

"Anyone having a 'Eureka!' moment?"

"This'll look great on my transcript!"

'I think I'll let Goldie do a few lengths in the bath before I get in.'

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Tugboat pulls along a rubber duck.

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Loofah Sponge'.

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