Baseball Dreamer Gifts

'You're behind on every pitch, Billy! Try choking up on the bat!'

"Would you explain to your son that there's no free agency in T-ball?"

'No, Billy, their first baseman is messing with your head. You won't go to hell for stealing second.'

'Good luck, kid. I trained at age 3, was traded twice by age 5 and I peaked at 7.'

'This is what happens, Billy, when you don't listen to your Little League coach.'

So close... Yet so far.

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

'OK, that's strike two. What is your third wish?'

"If I'm not in the Hall of Fame by 41 I'm getting induced."

"... Now playing center field for the Yankees... Peter the Great!..."

Inventing the baseball.

'I can just see him twenty years down the road pitching for the Giants.'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"I'm sorry, Timmy, but Mr. Jeter's promise to hit you a home run isn't covered by your existing HMO."

'AS a kid I dreamed of playing first base, but all my parents could afford was an oven mitt.'

Unemployment Office. Apply Here. What type of hourly waage were you thinking about? The pro-baseball type!

Field of Broken Dreams

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"I'm sorry but Mr. Berrell is in Port St. Lucie trying out for the Mets."

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Elvis Presley

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Steve Howe.

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Guitarist: 'We can freely improvise some other time ... now let's practise.' (With Derek it was always jam tomorrow)

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Midnight Basketball

Baseball Dreams

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"I'm running away to join the W.N.B.A."