Barnyard Beauty Enthusiasts Gifts

'Be honest. Do I have ugly feet?'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Dedication to excellence....

A Cow Striptease

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

Pig tails connected. Title: 'Where Sausage Links Begin'

Cow Christmas anxiety dreams!

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

'Well, Dad, it's 2:00 AM and we've been messing with her all night...'

"The summer people are coming! The summer people are coming!"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Three ducks: two have normal bills, third one has bill turned around like bill of cap.

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'No. I insist. You first.'

"I stink... therefore, I am."

...and this is you bedroom come dining room come kitchen come toilet!

Rooster writes out 'Things to cock-a-doodle-do.'

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

'Mirror, mirror, on the silo, who's the studliest bull in Shiloh?'

Cow being clamped for milk.

'I'd like to speak to the slop steward.'

Oh you baad bad girl!

Psst! Stay in character!

'The main difference between small animal surgery and large animal surgery...'

'To be perfectly honest, I hate my job: I'm not really a morning person...'

Farmer tries to plug his lawn mower into a pig.

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .