Barbarian Fan Gifts

'Congratulations son, you've been invited to play for the barbarians.'

"What do you expect, he's literally a barbarian."

Conan the Custodian.

Barbarians: These retirement parties always get a little awkward towards the end.

"I like him because he's not a typical politician."

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Caption contest. After last year's 3,000 entries, we're doing it again! Visit Speedbump.com for info and send your entries to speedbumpcomic@comcast.net.

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

A bear is sat on an armchair with old man slippers.

"Absolutely not!"

The Da Vinci Cod

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Pete would never forget the time he saw his very first nasal hare.

You're my Venus

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Canine Comedians

Too many of my babies became coats, so I decided to increase security...

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

Sir Desmond Murgatroyd

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

"Dad, has there EVER been a time when James Corden was funny..?"

Jokes machine.

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

'I can't take Barbie to Show and Tell...she doesn't have a thing to wear!'

Barbie Oscars

'Class, let's welcome Timmy, our Exchange Student, who's joining us for the next three weeks...'