Bagels T-Shirts

"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."

"And you can forget about a decent bagel."

"So that's one bagel with lox and cream cheese, hold the cream cheese, hold the bagel."

Bagel problems.

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

Church for sports worshipers.

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

The Salmon Run

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

The Popularity of Pickleball Inspires a New Wave of Hybrid Sports.

Gary turns 40.

Ice skater

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"How should we divide the teams?"

The Mouse King appears in the Nutcracker

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'There's more to life than winning. There's also losing - to offset taxable capital gains.'

"I'm less a role model than a cautionary tale."

Odette from Swan Lake

Cossack dancers

Countervailing Clichés.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Let's go over our secret play.'

Your tiny hand is frozen...

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.