Bagel Bandit T-Shirts

Deliboys

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Countervailing Clichés.

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

Am Awful Crammer.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

Cookie Surveillance

Fido and Fifi

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Bed & Bagel'

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Bagel problems.

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

Dunking biscuits in the bosses tea.

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

Cookie Thief

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

Mom's House O' Chili.

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

Bart is quite at home on the range.

"Who invented Cinnamon-Raisin again?"

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

Another Rookie Mistake

A dog biscuit