Bagel Bandit T-Shirts

Deliboys

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Countervailing Clichés.

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"The bagels are better in New York."

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

Am Awful Crammer.

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

Cookie Surveillance

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Bed & Bagel'

Fido and Fifi

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

Bagel problems.

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

Dunking biscuits in the bosses tea.

Mom's House O' Chili.

Cookie Thief

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."

Bart is quite at home on the range.

A dog biscuit

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

Another Rookie Mistake