Bagel Believer T-Shirts

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Countervailing Clichés.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"The bagels are better in New York."

Deliboys

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Bed & Bagel'

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

"Take. Your. Time!"

Bagel problems.

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

Bagel Story

The exciting new M-2000 Winnebagel / A Winnebago in the form of a Bagel.

"How do you keep a bagel from getting away?"

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

Lox Ness Monster

"They're extinct because they didn't eat their broccoli."

Almost Everything Bagel

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"Who invented Cinnamon-Raisin again?"

"The Blueberry Bagel, having triumphed on the East Coast, heads West."

'Long term I like tech and the financial sector. Short term I like a toasted bagel and gourmet coffee.'

'I don't need a rewards program for my customers, as much as I do a blind faith program for them.'

"I don't know why I'm surprised, but you seem very down to earth."

"Everything bagel?"