Bagel Believer Pillows

"We're switching from donuts to bagels effective Tuesday. Johnson, you handle the consumer backlash."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"I'm just here to pick up some bagels."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

Countervailing Clichés.

"It'll take three wishes to get less cream cheese on your bagels in New York."

"The bagels are better in New York."

Deliboys

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Bed & Bagel'

Bagel problems.

"Take. Your. Time!"

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

Bagel Story

The exciting new M-2000 Winnebagel / A Winnebago in the form of a Bagel.

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

Lox Ness Monster

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

"How do you keep a bagel from getting away?"

"They're extinct because they didn't eat their broccoli."

Almost Everything Bagel

'There goes the world's largest fish.' (fish bowl)

"Everything bagel?"

"I don't know why I'm surprised, but you seem very down to earth."

'Long term I like tech and the financial sector. Short term I like a toasted bagel and gourmet coffee.'

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

"I got the bagel less everythinged, and that has made all the difference."