Bad Habit Humorist Gifts

A bad habit promotes evolution.

'Burl always has to walk around the house when he brushes his teeth. . . he can't sit still for a minute.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

The Dandy

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'Click it or ticket.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

Flight Socks.

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

'I committed the sin of pride. I've been gloating over how our church baseball team waxed yours.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

'My tux is at the cleaners.'

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

A Moosetache.

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

"Do you do these in sheep?"

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"Father Fondell. . . your confessional is ready."

"I'm only wearing one globe because the weather forecast said that toay it might be warm, but on the other hand it might be cold."

'It's royal Stilton, put a tie on.'

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'