Bad Mood Humorist Gifts

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"And that was just your sudoku chart."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'And that's the simplest way to surgically remove a 'mole' from the patient!'

"So, Michael, any pesticidal thoughts today?"

"Every now and then, I get an overpowering urge to wear a cowbell."

"Therapist: Six couches no waiting"

Fakir Shrink.

Psychobabble.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

Death Watch

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

'I know how you feel.'

Shrink's Summer Job

"Westwood psychiatric group... How may I direct your cry for help?"

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

"I don't feel like I'm making any progress, it's like I'm just chasing my tail again."

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

Eskimo Breaking Wind

Preserved head and mobile phone.