Bad Manners Humorist Gifts

'Oh, look dear! He's following in your footsteps!'

Ethics exam cheater.

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

Too Much Coffee Man

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Preserved head and mobile phone.

Shy Man at Party

Man-spreading, Dutch style.

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"Pssst! It's the invisible man. Try not to stare at his new hair piece."

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

'You can come back as a zombie OR a ghost, Randy, but not both.'

"What can I say? Tough split."

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

101 uses of a dead cat: toast fork

'How about using a knife like everyone else?'

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

'Burl always has to walk around the house when he brushes his teeth. . . he can't sit still for a minute.'

How to make a corpse.

Dancing with death.

How very Hampstead!

Pizza's here!

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

Nothing to be taken from this window until 10 a.m.