Bad Manners Humorist Gifts

'Oh, look dear! He's following in your footsteps!'

Ethics exam cheater.

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

Too Much Coffee Man

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Man-spreading, Dutch style.

Preserved head and mobile phone.

Shy Man at Party

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

"Smoking causes cancer in humans. I'm canine."

Cheeky Devil and Thief LTD

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Pssst! It's the invisible man. Try not to stare at his new hair piece."

'You can come back as a zombie OR a ghost, Randy, but not both.'

"What can I say? Tough split."

'How about using a knife like everyone else?'

Witch on broom followed by witch on hangglider dustpan

How very Hampstead!

101 uses of a dead cat: toast fork

Dancing with death.

"You've got a bit of brain on the side of your mouth."

'Burl always has to walk around the house when he brushes his teeth. . . he can't sit still for a minute.'

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

'it's okay. The package says 'facial quality'.'